Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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