dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
