don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
