didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize