I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize