actually, I'm a sock model
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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