How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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