We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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