Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize