Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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