So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
