Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
