google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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