He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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