One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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