I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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