I'm going to jail i love you
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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