someone owes me an orgasm
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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