I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
its not stalking. its research.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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