I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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