am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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