dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block