Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it