Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(617): Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money? http://tfl.nu/6pei

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

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(201): Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning? http://tfl.nu/326j

Replies (31) Good night (945) Bad night (2369)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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(262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn

Replies (24) Good night (726) Bad night (5287)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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(214): Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love. http://tfl.nu/wggk

Replies (10) Good night (6193) Bad night (1086)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class

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(412): I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class http://tfl.nu/hcaw

Replies (10) Good night (3325) Bad night (1103)
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(513): View more from Ohio

so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?

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(513): so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/1jvr

Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (1926)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Oh shit. There are penis maracas

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(434): Oh shit. There are penis maracas http://tfl.nu/sti5

Replies (4) Good night (1879) Bad night (811)
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(541): View more from Oregon

ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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(541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf

Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (1539)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.

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(774): It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia. http://tfl.nu/toig

Replies (6) Good night (1237) Bad night (766)
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(512): View more from Texas

In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.

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(512): In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes. http://tfl.nu/9eez

Replies (9) Good night (1889) Bad night (570)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first

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(412): I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first http://tfl.nu/vbea

Replies (4) Good night (1589) Bad night (650)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.

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(262): Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/thay

Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (615)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.

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(218): We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened. http://tfl.nu/ouo9

Replies (4) Good night (1233) Bad night (370)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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(414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f

Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (414)
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(713): View more from Texas

Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed

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(713): Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed http://tfl.nu/zx0l

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