So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love having hate sex.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
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My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.