What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
