she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
