That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
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I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best