eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
