i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
