Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
