we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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