Where are you?
In a non slutty way
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
