So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
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I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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