butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize