I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just want nice things and good sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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