the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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