so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
