Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize