It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
