I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
