She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize