Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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