i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
