News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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