I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
