Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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