What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
