he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
