Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
