My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
