playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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