And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize