I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
