My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize