i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
