Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
