do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
