so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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