I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
